Oh, Nick, Please Not So Quick
by Elric-Chan
Summary: Crack fic to the DDR song by E Rotic. [wolfwoodxvash] For AmandaTheStampede.


**Disclaimer: I do own Dance Dance Revolution or Trigun in any way.**

**Heh... this is a request from my friend _AmandaTheStampede_. She loves DDR, not to mention WolfwoodxVash yaoi. So imagine her surprise when she discovered a DDR song by E-Rotic called "OH NICK, PLEASE NOT SO QUICK".**

**Keep in mind that Wolfwood's first name is Nick.**

**-thinks dirty yaoi thoughts-**

**You may skip over the lyrics if you wish... they are italicized.**

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"What the hell are you playing, Tongari?"

"It's... a game. It's called Dance Dance Revolution."

**_OH NICK, PLEASE NOT SO QUICK_**

"Well, what the hell is that?"

"I just told you!" Vash turned around impatiently on the mat. "It's called Dance Dance Revolution. DDR."

Wolfwood was standing behind Vash, watching him play his ridiculous dancing game... and was becoming increasingly more annoyed with it.

"DDR? Sounds stupid to me."

Vash stuck his tongue out childishly, and turned back around. He hit random, and waited for the song to come up. Wolfwood took a drag on his cigarette, sighing in annoyance. He rolled his eyes at Vash's trenchcoat-adorned back. That damn blonde...

"All right!" Wolfwood looked at Vash, who had now started to jump around wildly to the music, his feet tapping the arrows as they flashed up the screen. "I've never heard this song before, but boy, is it fun!"

He continued dancing, while Wolfwood gave him another hearty eye roll. He glanced up at the top screen, and felt the cigarette drop from his mouth.

The title...

"Vash!"

The blonde ignored him, or either didn't hear him, and continued parading like a fool to the upbeat tune. Wolfwood swallowed hard as he glanced at the title again.

"OH NICK, PLEASE NOT SO QUICK" was the stupid, unabashed title. That awful song was here to embarrass him... and it was Vash... _Vash_ that was playing it. Why him, for Kami's sake, why _him_?

"Dammit, Va-"

He shut his mouth in horror as the words started to pour from the television screen.

_"Oh, Nick... please not so quick._

_You know I want it big_

_I wanna feel like in heaven _

_Just like in heaven _

_Oh Nickie not so quick _

_You know that makes me sick _

_I wanna feel you forever"_

He felt a nosebleed coming on. Never before had he realized that priests could have such dirty, unholy thoughts, but he was thinking them now. He pinched the bridge of his nose, and gave another shout, muffled this time.

"Vash!"

_"Oh, Nick... please... not... so quick._

_You are so sweet _

_ And I feel the heat _

_You are the one you're the one that I need _

_Oh yeah yeah baby do it to me _

_I wanna feel you deep wanna feel you so deep _

_Baby hold me tight baby hold me just tight _

_I can't stand stand stand it all night I want you _

_And you know its high noon _

_I'm come Come Coming real soon"_

_"Oh Nick please not so quick _

_You know I want it big _

_I wanna feel like in heaven _

_Just like in heaven _

_Oh Nickie not so quick _

_You know that makes me sick _

_I wanna feel you forever _

_Aah Aah Aah Aah Nickie Nickie _

_Baby let's come together I wanna feel you as long as I can"_

As if in slow-motion, Vash came to a halt, even though the arrows did not. Numerous "boos" flashed with each missed arrow, but Vash nor Wolfwood paid them any mind. Wolfwood watched as Vash slowly turned his head, looking back with an innocent inclination of what he was actually hearing. Gray clashed with green as they stared at each other for a long moment.

"You get it now?" Wolfwood finally said, releasing his grasp on his nose.

"Yeah..." Vash was looking embarrassed, a faint blush creeping across his face as he averted his eyes to the window. He looked so unbearably cute, Wolfwood thought.

"Tongari..."

"Hm?" Vash still didn't look at him.

_"Head over heals I'm breaking your seals _

_So gimme some more just to see how it feels _

_So join me wanna go to the top _

_Having sex ain't gonna be a flop _

_Oh baby I can't stand it no more _

_Never been in heaven before _

_Can't hold back baby feel it oh wow _

_I'm come come coming right now"_

_"Nickie no quickie _

_Wait till you feel I'm ready _

_Please hold me tight in the dark of the night"_

Without a second thought, he leapt forward and grabbed Vash's collar, seeing surprised eyes meet his before they closed with the kiss.

_"Aah Aah Aah Aah Nickie Nickie (Good night Nickie) "_

Vash didn't hesitate or pull away, and Wolfwood pressed harder, sending them back into the television as the words "FAILED" appeared on the screen. Vash's fingers snaked through Wolfwood's hair, ruffling the ebony bangs into his eyes. Wolfwood's tongue sought entrance, and slipped inside as Vash pulled back slightly with a deep breath.

"Oh, Nick... please... not so fast..."

Wolfwood couldn't help but smirk as he swiped his tongue over Vash's lips. "Don't you mean... not so _quick_?"

Vash flushed pink as he grinned and allowed Wolfwood to kiss him again, turning their bodies to delve into the bedsheets as the priest continued.

As the day crept on, shouts of "Oh, Nick, please not so quick!" could be heard echoing down the halls and for many iles around the city.

**_OWARI_**

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**Yeah! Oneshotness!**


End file.
